Sunday, December 6, 2009

Lalala...

Random Interactions with Customers:

Me: Would you like any help ma'am?


Customer: Oh yes! Could you please tell me if this dress runs a bit big? You see the problem is that I'm really busty in the front with nothing in the back. Kinda like you!


Me:.....-_-....the fitting room is to the left. Have a great day.




BUT NO! IT DOESN'T END THERE! She proceeds to tell me about how she doesn't wear anything under her church robe. I won't even get into the rest. Only at Old Navy.


Anywhoooooo! Got my new laptop, it's a Toshiba and she was just in my price range.



Workin on getting this itouch I want.



But here is my new music obsession:



[WARNING: It's more of an alternative pop, sit your ass down and mellow out type of music.]







Her name is Jade. My friend MDot put me on to her and she's something new.

Something different.

Something I'm willing to try...


I love her song Beautiful Problems. Go look for it.

And on that not I am on to my next blog about my waning heterosexuality....


Don't worry. I'm straight mostly.
LOVES!



P.S. STARZ!!! YOU SLIPPIN!! WHERE YOU AT???

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Letter To All You Holiday Shoppers...

Dear Customers,



Although I appreciate your services, and the fact that by you shopping, I am employed...



Please do me a series of favors....



1. When you SEE ME and i do mean directly SEE ME trying to fix a messy display, respect it. I respect you by trying to make sure you can find whatever you're looking for. I'm not saying you gotta be all neat but just don't THROW THE FUCKIN TANK TOPS ALL OVER THE PLACE LADY. WTF? I JUST FIXED THEM! YOUR STUPID ASS DIDN'T EVEN ATTEMPT TO MAKE IT LOOK NEAT OR EVEN PUT IT IN THE RIGHT PLACE! And you sir! SHOES DON'T GO IN THE TANK TOP SECTION!




2. Please....Know what you want to buy when you are at the register. Don't get two bags worth of clothes and decide to sort it out at the register, knowing the lines are so damn long that they're going all the way to the entrance. STOP BEING AN INCONSIDERATE BASTARD FOR ONCE SO WE CAN ALL MOVE ALONG WITH OUR DAY!




3. Stop leaving your fuckin DIRTY PANTIES, PERIOD PADS and CONDOM WRAPPERS IN THE FITTING ROOM! It would be nice if you would stop ha
ving sex there too. But hey if you don't, when you come out of the fitting room after being there for over an hour i DEFINITELY have the right to ask if everything "fit okay". Or if you need a "bigger size".




4. If you leave weed in the fitting room, don't come back for it. It won't be there.





5. Guys would you please stop hitting on me on the salesfloor and in front of managers? It makes me look bad.




6. And finally, if I am courteous to you and have a smile on my face whenever you see me, I would appreciate the same courtesy. I work a 9 hour shift and I go to school so the fact that I have on a genuine smile at all is something to wonder about. If you're gonna act rude and obnoxious then you can take your cheap ass to expensive ass GAP and see if you can find a deal there.

[ side bar: I don't get why people were online at 3 a.m. on Black Friday for Old Navy when there is literally a sale EVERYDAY. It's OLD NAVY for pete's sake! ]




And now back to our regularly scheduled program.

As you can see, work at Old Navy is definitely an experience.

But this paycheck I should be able to buy my new laptop since I killed
my other one.

More blogs coming soon. I'm putting the spotlight on a couple people so that should be fun.

And also, new aim: IceAndAshes7. So hit me up.

SEE YA LOVES!

P.S. STARZ! WHERE YOU AT???


Saturday, October 24, 2009

Random Tidbits...

............




Just looking at him makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.





Mmmm mmmm mmmm....





Anywho! An update on my life thus far.





Currently working at the Old Navy on 34th street.





Currently staying at my godmother's house where all the random funny shit happens.





Still not back in my apartment but don't worry I got a plan!



Back to my godmother!

She has to be one of the funniest people I have ever met in my life (besides my late aunt aka her mother).

We were eating dinner one night and she goes to water her plant. She named it after her late fiance Donald.

So she goes:

"Oh Donald you're so dry. I can't keep you so dry when you always used to keep me so wet..."

(silence here............

NOW LAUGHTER!)

She seriously cracks me up I can't take it!

She's almost as bad as grandma.





In other news, hi new followers!

My internet access is extremely limited but as soon as I can I will get to reading your links and following you and stuff.

People are actually pretty interesting nowadays.

But I'm on my way to a haunted house now. I fuckin love Halloween.

I'll write another time loves!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Violated Much?


Getting molested by lil' old ladies who are SENILE and do NOT speak ANY english is not fun.


At all.


Just ask me.


So I went to go and visit Grandma not too long ago (she's sarcastic as ever) and we're sitting in the cafeteria with the rest of the old ladies.


There's this one SHORT and i do mean SHORT, like 4 foot 11 hispanic lady talking to me in spanish.


And I don't have a clue what she is saying.


So naturally I look to Grandma for a little advice of how to continue this conversation.


Grandma is listening to the lady and nodding and smiling so I'm following grandma and now I'm nodding and smiling...


And this short lady goes and grabs me, HARD by the arm, and starts talking even more passionately on some Drag Me To Hell shit


(wanna know what's even creepier? the short lady kinda looks like this one).

So now I'm REALLY creeped out and my face is all like O_O when the lady starts laughing...

She then goes to hug me, which turns into her kissing my forehead...

......my cheek....

......my NECK (and by this point I'm BEYOND uncomfortable...)....

And she starts rubbing her hands on my breasts.

And not just a tap like she wanna play with drums or something.

NOOO! She's rubbin them like she just can't seem to brush the dirt off of them.

I jump up and all I look to my grandma who isn't paying me ANY attention...

And I run downstairs to get some fresh air.

Cause seriously...what the hell I'm gonna do? Call the cops on an old lady?

Have the nurses send her to her room?

It's just a lose-lose situation for me.

(insert sigh here)

I'm gonna go lay down and just pretend like none of that ever happened...

oH! By the way...

Miss me much?

Saturday, September 19, 2009

x_x

My laptop finally has conked out on me.
Because I kinda accidentally sat on it...
While my ipod shuffle charger was underneath the screen...
And now my Cookie has a puncture wound.
Death comes in the form of a black and white screen.
Because now that is all I am able to see.
DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!
Signed, Blogger In Mourning.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Another Great One...

Dom is killing me with these poems...


How do you guys feel about this one?






Hurt.






I don't even wanna look at you


You fry cook of a lover you burned me


I gave you tender loins and you gave me medium rare


How dare you show your face?








I should've known


You are a court of toxic energy


With a Cespool hoop


How dare you wave at me?








Go drown yourself in your water hole of a vagina


That all the townsmen just happen to take a swim in


Then go hang yourself


See if your gag reflex kicks in then.





Harsh.

Dom O Briggs everyone...

Highlight of my day...

So this guy here is a good friend of mine.
Dom O Briggs. UDUB Poet.
And I just came across an old freewrite he did.
My Angel...
Check it out:
So,
This is what happens when God's favorite angel
Didn't wanna go home she
Butchered her wings
Leaving them in sea of blood
Floating aimless
Like she did when I met her
She used her halo to do it
Sharpened with her heart
Which was the roughest thing she owned
Plus it was on her sleeve
That was my fault
I told her God wouldn't mind if you just spend a lil more time
Besides I waited 17 years just to say hi and I'll
Be damned if he takes you from me now
But I forgot he was a jealous guy
All this talk of leaving him for me got him steamed
Heaven's Gate Express had to leave the station with her
On it so, he sent him to take her
Didn't you say thou shall not kill?
You did.... then why is the Grim Reaper working for you?
You made him take her
So, Im here in the sea of her blood and feathers drowning
So, this is what happends when God's favorite angel didn't want to go home

.......................
Just let it marinate for a sec...
(moment of silence)
Don't get mad at me people but I soo want to molest his brain.
Exquisite.
Leave your comments below...

Saturday, August 29, 2009

It's sad...


It's sad when the only place you can really trust to express your feelings is on a social network.


Because people in general are untrustworthy lint infested little bastards.



Sometimes.
Damn, I sound like a pessimist.
eww.


But random food for thought.

Homeless.




So I got kicked out of my own house last Friday.






The story:






Talked to my sis Rena at like 7 p.m. when I was leaving the nursing home from seeing Grandma.






Got in my house, chilled with my friend Amanda.






My cell phone in my bag in the other room.






My slow ass DSL plugged up into the main line of the phone.






Apparently Rena, Lena and Neicey (my 3 sisters) were trying to call me all night.








Rena busts through the front door (because Rena has a key) at like 12 a.m.






And it all goes downhill from there.






Here's where I'm at fault: I shoulda known these crazy women were gonna be calling me.




I shouldn't have been so careless as to think they would leave me alone for a night.




Because they "love me" too much.






Here's where Rena is at fault. She let her temper get the best of her.






And I really don't like it when people hit or choke me.






Here's where I'm at fault again:




I gave her a black eye.




UNINTENTIONALLY THOUGH!!!




Not my fault her eye was sensitive....






Anyway, my sisters took the keys to my house and they kicked me out.




I'm now staying with my godmother Kelly.




The fuckery is just so great it's ridiculous.




So here are my options:




1) Stay with Kelly and endure contacting my sisters for every little thing while knowing that I can't live in my own damn house for it...and continue to be unhappy




2). Fight for my apartment. Stay with a sympathetic relative .Change the locks. Call the cops because taking my keys is technically illegal...But then I wouldn't have any ties with them. As in relaionship wise, and plus they're still giving me money and things (I have no idea why, I remember Rena screaming "get the fuck out my life" so...)




or




3). Be on the street. Which isn't an option really.






I'm trying to get my school situation together, I had a job interview the other day, what more can I do?






Sighness...Just gonna do what I do best...






Bottle my emotions, make it into a weapon of mass destruction and throw it at people...




Figuratively of course.






Humor me, what's you're opinion?

From left to right: Rena, Lena, Me and Neicey.

Horrible, HORRIBLE, picture...

Monday, August 24, 2009

I Apologize...

Neglect. I know.
But when DSL makes ur internet connection go from an adolescent to senior citizen then you don't really want to do all the extra-ness of blogging.
Plus there's been drama within my household.
I got into a fist fight with my sister yesterday. And all three of my sisters don't want me to stay in MY apartment.
And they took my keys. So for now I'm gonna bide my time, then change the locks on them suckers.
But these blogs are going to be scarce. I have to take care of myself right now.
But don't worry I'll be back before you'll miss me.
Thanx for understanding.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Lie With Me



This was my shit.



Synopsis:


2 emotionally unstable people have a fling and fall in love.




Girl: Slightly promiscouous, revels in sexual freedom, the anonymity.




Guy: Emotionally confused, needs attention, loves the mystery she provides.





She: Not ready to feel anything more than lust, runs from him




He: Chases her.





She: Realizes she wants to be with him. Pursues him. Is rejected. Runs.





He: Chases her. Gets the girl.










But the best part about this movie is that most of this is said without words.





The images. Those are more powerful than anything said in this movie.





It makes you FEEL rather than LISTEN.






I connected with it in so many ways...






I am Him.



Emotionally vunerable.




In need of someone to love and nurture my emotions.




I am Her.




Craving liberation.




Lost yet found in my own conviction.







I need this on DVD.

The Old Me

So I was looking on some computers for some pictures of me.
I wanted some pictures that show when I was a little happier.
A little bit more smiley.
Before the thousand pounds of stress tried to cut my skull open.

My first webcam pics.
I loved this laptop soo much in those days.
The days when there weren't any worn out stains, the sound still worked and I didn't have a problem with webcam.

There was a HUGE pimple on my nose. And it wouldn't go away.
It was more of a bump then anything.
How annoying.


And I call this one "Sunshine before the Rain".

I miss me. The old me.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

I Bruise Easily...

I've always been a little fragile...
And I took that pic by the way...I love it
Here's a PSA for you:
People are often sensitive.
You can't just say anything and expect them not to be offended.
And you can't expect to offend them repeatedly without retaliation or retribution.
The Heart is a dangerous organ, it's killed many people I once knew.
You don't want the bruises.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

UPDATE*!

Update on Weekend Fuckery:



Someone didn't slash the tires. They just took the caps off and let the air seep out...


.......................................

......................................................

....................................................................



WTF?!


*end fuckery*


To answer some of the comments on that post, since for whatever reason I don't feel like doing it ON the post:



"Dub", Raina said she never went to Hackensack High but she did go to Dwight Morrow or something like that.


Miss Odukoya xx, DON'T PANIC! PANIC JUST MAKES THINGS WORSE...and silly looking.

P.s. Thanx about the outfit, but cause of the shoes I have mosquito bites all over my feet. And they're swollen.

And also for the click the link post...TRY AGAIN! teehee




SMH though. They really took the caps off. WTF?!


Welp. What can you do?

Monday, August 3, 2009

Just click the link!!

Click HERE and proceed...
Thank you.

Weekend Fuckery...





Hold on tight folks, it's a long one...




Let's see if my writing skills are sharp enough to make this short.


My Weekend:



Went up to jersey to visit my cousin Raina .


She lives in hackensack. Wanted to go to Club Abyss in sayreville to see Pleasure P.



Btw, dude was twisted!


Saw lots of groupies. And lots of drunk men.


I had fun, but if I go to a club next time, remind me to go with a bunch of lesbians, they seemed to have more fun.




Anyway, we get out of the club at 2:00 a.m.



And the valet gives Raina her car back.



With 2 flat tires....


Now when we went to the club, our tires were fine.




WHICH MEANS:




a) someone slashed her DAD'S tires. mind u its not her car


or






b) the valet drove over something. bastards.





At this point they're rushing us to get off of the premises and by the time we do, we realize that we don't know how to change a tire.




We proceed back to the club where they tell us that because we already vacated the premises that there is nothing they can do.


And they're laughing.


2 of the bouncers were nice enough to help us...but they just made shit worse.

We needed a jack to elevate the car so they could try and change the tires.




What went wrong:







1. The spare tire was a flat tire and we needed another tire anyway




2. The only reason the jack was able to lift the car up high enough was because the tires were flat. Trying to put the tires back on resulted in...impossibility.





So it's 3 a.m. and we're stuck an hour away from Hackensack, with no food or money, an almost dead car battery and 2 flat tires. That aren't even on the car.











Plus this is Raina's DAD's car. So you know we in for some shit.




Especially since we found out that she didn't exactly tell him she was going to a club...



Raina, Raina, Raina...





So she calls Dad knowing she about to get her ass Kicked, smashed, Killed...




And he doesnt answer.
So now we're stranded.
How are we gonna get home???
We call a tow truck.



At 3:30 a.m.





And they're just down the street, like a mile away or so.





They didn't get to us until 6 a.m.



.........................................



My mosquito bites are atrocious.





But on TOP of all of that, we had to pay extra to get the tires put back on.




In short:





A night of fun at the club: $20






A ride home from the club in a tow truck : $275








Seeing the look on Raina's dad's face when we pulled up at 8 a.m. (IN THE RAIN) :





Priceless.




Atleast my outfit was cute:




A product of raiding Raina's closet.




What a night.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Inspiration For the Day

I have some really talented friends...



This is Tony.

(he's so gonna kill me for using this pic :D )




My best friend of almost a year now.


My twin, the guy version of myself.




And this is a poem he wrote today:




I could never tell what you are sometimes


Like clouds floating in my mind I try to figure you out


I find myself having trouble with this


For others they see beauty all I see is a blank canvas


It is not your fault that I don't understand you but then again...


Its your fault for not wanting me too.



All I gotta say is he has some hidden talent...


And I wanna hear more.


Don't you?


Monday, July 27, 2009

My Life According to Jill...reallly.

Been tagged on something again!



And heehee it looks like fun...



Instructions: Using only song titles from ONE ARTIST OR BAND, answer these questions. Pass it on to 12 people and include me. You can't use the artist or band I used. Do not repeat a song title. Re-post as "My Life According to (ARTIST OR BAND NAME)"



And since Starz stole Brandy ima go with...



JILL SCOTT!



Let's get this bitch started.



Pick Your Artist: Jill Scott!!

Are you a male or female? : Can't Explain. (true as hell. feel like a dude sometimes.)


Describe yourself: The Rightness.

How do you feel: I'm Not Afraid. (not anymore anyway...)


Describe where you currently live: Bedda at Home. (ha!)

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Family Reunion (with a videotape)


Your favorite form of transportation: A Long Walk.

Your best friend is: The Real Thing.

Your favorite color is: Honey Molasses.

What's the weather like: Spring Summer Feeling


Favorite time of the day: Insomnia


If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: Easy Conversation.

What is life to you: Not Like Crazy.

Your relationships: Gettin In The Way. (TRUTH!)

Your fear: My Love.

What is the best advice you have to give?: Breathe.

If you could change your name, you would change it to: Golden


Thought for the Day: Epiphany.

How I would like to die: Whenever You're Around. (truth !!)

My soul's present condition: One is the Magic Number.




You know what's crazy? I think this just summed up all I had to say today.


But as for who i tag...



1. Ziggy


2. Satara


3. Ashante


4. Tori


5. EVERYBODY ELSE MUAHAHAHA!



*yeah i'm type lazy. :-P what u gonna do bout it?*

Friday, July 24, 2009

Promoting...AGAIN!




I'm letting it be known that I will be the first to create an I-LOVE-ZIGGY fan club.






And if you haven't guessed, the person in that dope ass pic is named Ziggy.



She's friggin awesome.





I met her on myspace and her personality is so REFRESHING!











And yes, do it because I said so.


(*insert silence*)





MUAHAHAHAHAA!








conversation on that pic:






Me: what the hell?? are you in the air?? can you fly??






Ziggy: Yes. I'm fly. oh..you mean cannn i fly? haha..thats what my wings are for :):) lol
Lol. Love her.

Fuck A Content Warning!




So I noticed alot of blogs I follow have that pretty little sign up there.



Examples: Tori and Dearly Beloved. Don't be afraid to click those links.



And I was wondering why they put that there.


Then I realized...



Dearly Beloved's blog should be rated R and Tori's blog needs to be mother fuckin NC-17.



Or TV-MA.



And I took a look at my precious little gem here, and realize that my speech isn't always PG either...



But fuck a content warning!



When people meet me, there's no warning sign that says:



EXCESSIVE POTTY MOUTH!



CARRYING A THOUSAND POUNDS OF STRESS!



EXTREMELY SEXUAL!

(lol that one is for you Tori, if you read my comment on your last post)



There's no content warning in real life.



And I would like to think that this blog is real. It's a reflection of me and my bullshit, so how can it NOT be real?



The shit my grandma and her friends say is a little TOO real.

(someone remind me to take a pic of the hispanic lady)



So with that being said, NEW FOLLOWERS DON'T BE ALARMED.



It's just me.



Raw as ever. Without the label.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

!@#$%!




Dear Dell Computers,






Who the HELL do you think you are?? I friggin HATE you with an EXTREME passion! How dare you make a Dell Vista sound like such a great deal and then as soon as the warranty runs out, the computer shuts down. Or keeps cutting off. OR DEVELOPS A BAD HARD DRIVE! I believed in you Dell, when everyone said you were trash it was I ALONE who defended you. And you fuck me over. You inconsiderate, shady, greedy mother fuckers. GRRRRRRR! I hope you all die. In a ditch. After getting hit by a PARKED bus and ran over by a motor boat. With glitter, syphillis and your fucking logo on it. Just rot in a ditch in Antartica somwhere. And suffer slowly. Right next to Souljah Boy.



Signed,
Angry Consumer # 7561234




So if you haven't noticed, I kinda despise my laptop at the moment.


I named her cookie and was sooo in love when I first got her.




Now she cuts off my sentences, shuts me down when I'm having fun and if I try to argue with her, she makes me internet connection slower.









..............



Stupid bitch.





Well she has a bad hard drive. And my broke ass is gonna pay the $60 to get her fixed. Then I'm selling her.




I'm gonna fix her up real nice and then be DONE with Dell for good.



So on that note...Does anybody know who's interested in buying a Dell Vista laptop with a built in webcam for only $700?




(i wish my sister woulda payed $700 for this ishh. she payed like $1400 AND CHANGE. grrr)




Please hit me up when info if you do.




P.S. I might have to take a hiatus if this joint keeps shutting off. But don't worry. I'll always come back.
For now I'm just gonna suffer.







Now, off to send hate mail!!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Getting Tested



Naiema on Getting Tested:




"It wasn't that scary for me. It's like when a person has cancer or something. They're dying slowly. They know that they're doomed. So they accept it"






...O_O






BTW: She tested negative for ALL STDS !!! But thought she was doomed. sweet surprise?








Anywho, I wanna get tested this month. It will be the second most important appointment I make (the dentist has top priority).






And as we go on with this subject I will flashback into my first GYN visit... :






.................................................................................................................................................................




..................................................................................................................................................................




.................................................................................................................................................................








ARE YOUR FINGERS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE????










*end flashback*






Moral of the story. Don't be a punk. Get tested.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Sweet Dreams...



Oh sleep. How you elude me...



So I stay at my sister Rena's house during the week and last night was one of the worse nights ever.



1. Mosquitoes were fuckin me up non-stop with no remorse. They even went for the face. So now I have a huge dot on my forhead.



2. I couldn't sleep in the first place and when I finally got tired, I kept gettin bit up.



3. Her cat is a horny bastard. I won't even go into details.





Anyway, I finally got a nap in early this morning and what happens?


I have a friggin nightmare.


It's a story folks so here we go:




In this dream I was trapped in Washington Irving High School merged with Bread and Roses with several other teens.


It went from being both of those schools to being a huge ass castle that was locked and no goddamn body had the effin key.




Now this wasn't your regular horror "some-spirit-or-crazy-person-is-gonna-kill-us-off-one-by-one" movie...



The thing that happened to be attacking us was our own FEARS in the flesh.



I cant really remember what all the other's peoples fears were but (sigh) my fear was being afraid by everybody else's fear.



I got triple the scared.



And woke up with triple the sweat.



But that wasn't my ONLY fear, I also feared I would be in an unknown place and all these people would turn on me and try to kill me zombie style.




R.I.P. to the King of Pop.




But anyway, these fears are threatening to really be my undoing when the principal of the schools/castle comes out of nowhere and releases me.



This character was played by my sister's on again and off again boyfriend Jack, owner of the Den, 13oth streets famed restaurant.



He releases me from the school, or so it seems.



Because to top it all off I got a NEW fear:



Not being able to escape or get home.



So it's all this vivid, vicious cycle spinning around and around and around in my head until....




The ringing phone wakes me up.


I have never been more grateful for telemarketers in my life.
And trust me I'm NEVER grateful.
(inconsiderate bastards)


Anyway just had to share folks, and I'll lay off the snacks before bedtime...
Maybe.