Lalala...

Random Interactions with Customers:

Me: Would you like any help ma'am?


Customer: Oh yes! Could you please tell me if this dress runs a bit big? You see the problem is that I'm really busty in the front with nothing in the back. Kinda like you!


Me:.....-_-....the fitting room is to the left. Have a great day.



BUT NO! IT DOESN'T END THERE! She proceeds to tell me about how she doesn't wear anything under her church robe. I won't even get into the rest. Only at Old Navy.


Anywhoooooo! Got my new laptop, it's a Toshiba and she was just in my price range.


Workin on getting this itouch I want.


But here is my new music obsession:


[WARNING: It's more of an alternative pop, sit your ass down and mellow out type of music.]







Her name is Jade. My friend MDot put me on to her and she's something new.

Something different.

Something I'm willing to try...

I love her song Beautiful Problems. Go look for it.

And on that not I am on to my next blog about my waning heterosexuality....

Don't worry. I'm straight mostly. LOVES!

P.S. STARZ!!! YOU SLIPPIN!! WHERE YOU AT???

Letter To All You Holiday Shoppers...

Dear Customers,

Although I appreciate your services, and the fact that by you shopping, I am employed...

Please do me a series of favors....

1. When you SEE ME and i do mean directly SEE ME trying to fix a messy display, respect it. I respect you by trying to make sure you can find whatever you're looking for. I'm not saying you gotta be all neat but just don't THROW THE FUCKIN TANK TOPS ALL OVER THE PLACE LADY. WTF? I JUST FIXED THEM! YOUR STUPID ASS DIDN'T EVEN ATTEMPT TO MAKE IT LOOK NEAT OR EVEN PUT IT IN THE RIGHT PLACE! And you sir! SHOES DON'T GO IN THE TANK TOP SECTION!

2. Please....Know what you want to buy when you are at the register. Don't get two bags worth of clothes and decide to sort it out at the register, knowing the lines are so damn long that they're going all the way to the entrance. STOP BEING AN INCONSIDERATE BASTARD FOR ONCE SO WE CAN ALL MOVE ALONG WITH OUR DAY!

3. Stop leaving your fuckin DIRTY PANTIES, PERIOD PADS and CONDOM WRAPPERS IN THE FITTING ROOM! It would be nice if you would stop ha

ving sex there too. But hey if you don't, when you come out of the fitting room after being there for over an hour i DEFINITELY have the right to ask if everything "fit okay". Or if you need a "bigger size".

4. If you leave weed in the fitting room, don't come back for it. It won't be there.

5. Guys would you please stop hitting on me on the salesfloor and in front of managers? It makes me look bad.

6. And finally, if I am courteous to you and have a smile on my face whenever you see me, I would appreciate the same courtesy. I work a 9 hour shift and I go to school so the fact that I have on a genuine smile at all is something to wonder about. If you're gonna act rude and obnoxious then you can take your cheap ass to expensive ass GAP and see if you can find a deal there.

[ side bar: I don't get why people were online at 3 a.m. on Black Friday for Old Navy when there is literally a sale EVERYDAY. It's OLD NAVY for pete's sake! ]

And now back to our regularly scheduled program.

As you can see, work at Old Navy is definitely an experience.

But this paycheck I should be able to buy my new laptop since I killed

my other one.

More blogs coming soon. I'm putting the spotlight on a couple people so that should be fun.

And also, new aim: IceAndAshes7. So hit me up.

SEE YA LOVES!

P.S. STARZ! WHERE YOU AT???

Random Tidbits...

............

Just looking at him makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Mmmm mmmm mmmm....

Anywho! An update on my life thus far.

Currently working at the Old Navy on 34th street.

Currently staying at my godmother's house where all the random funny shit happens.

Still not back in my apartment but don't worry I got a plan!

Back to my godmother!

She has to be one of the funniest people I have ever met in my life (besides my late aunt aka her mother).

We were eating dinner one night and she goes to water her plant. She named it after her late fiance Donald.

So she goes:

"Oh Donald you're so dry. I can't keep you so dry when you always used to keep me so wet..."

(silence here............

NOW LAUGHTER!)

She seriously cracks me up I can't take it!

She's almost as bad as grandma.

In other news, hi new followers!

My internet access is extremely limited but as soon as I can I will get to reading your links and following you and stuff.

People are actually pretty interesting nowadays.

But I'm on my way to a haunted house now. I fuckin love Halloween.

I'll write another time loves!

Violated Much?

Getting molested by lil' old ladies who are SENILE and do NOT speak ANY english is not fun.

At all.

Just ask me.

So I went to go and visit Grandma not too long ago (she's sarcastic as ever) and we're sitting in the cafeteria with the rest of the old ladies.

There's this one SHORT and i do mean SHORT, like 4 foot 11 hispanic lady talking to me in spanish.

And I don't have a clue what she is saying.

So naturally I look to Grandma for a little advice of how to continue this conversation.

Grandma is listening to the lady and nodding and smiling so I'm following grandma and now I'm nodding and smiling...

And this short lady goes and grabs me, HARD by the arm, and starts talking even more passionately on some Drag Me To Hell shit

(wanna know what's even creepier? the short lady kinda looks like this one).

So now I'm REALLY creeped out and my face is all like O_O when the lady starts laughing...

She then goes to hug me, which turns into her kissing my forehead...

......my cheek....

......my NECK (and by this point I'm BEYOND uncomfortable...)....

And she starts rubbing her hands on my breasts.

And not just a tap like she wanna play with drums or something.

NOOO! She's rubbin them like she just can't seem to brush the dirt off of them.

I jump up and all I look to my grandma who isn't paying me ANY attention...

And I run downstairs to get some fresh air.

Cause seriously...what the hell I'm gonna do? Call the cops on an old lady?

Have the nurses send her to her room?

It's just a lose-lose situation for me.

(insert sigh here)

I'm gonna go lay down and just pretend like none of that ever happened...

oH! By the way...

Miss me much?

x_x

My laptop finally has conked out on me.

Because I kinda accidentally sat on it...

While my ipod shuffle charger was underneath the screen...

And now my Cookie has a puncture wound.

Death comes in the form of a black and white screen.

Because now that is all I am able to see.

DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!

Signed, Blogger In Mourning.

Another Great One...

Dom is killing me with these poems...

How do you guys feel about this one?

Hurt.

I don't even wanna look at you

You fry cook of a lover you burned me

I gave you tender loins and you gave me medium rare

How dare you show your face?

I should've known

You are a court of toxic energy

With a Cespool hoop

How dare you wave at me?

Go drown yourself in your water hole of a vagina

That all the townsmen just happen to take a swim in

Then go hang yourself

See if your gag reflex kicks in then.

Harsh.

Dom O Briggs everyone...

Highlight of my day...

So this guy here is a good friend of mine.

Dom O Briggs. UDUB Poet.

And I just came across an old freewrite he did.

My Angel...

Check it out:

So,

This is what happens when God's favorite angel

Didn't wanna go home she

Butchered her wings

Leaving them in sea of blood

Floating aimless

Like she did when I met her

She used her halo to do it

Sharpened with her heart

Which was the roughest thing she owned

Plus it was on her sleeve

That was my fault

I told her God wouldn't mind if you just spend a lil more time

Besides I waited 17 years just to say hi and I'll

Be damned if he takes you from me now

But I forgot he was a jealous guy

All this talk of leaving him for me got him steamed

Heaven's Gate Express had to leave the station with her

On it so, he sent him to take her

Didn't you say thou shall not kill?

You did.... then why is the Grim Reaper working for you?

You made him take her

So, Im here in the sea of her blood and feathers drowning

So, this is what happends when God's favorite angel didn't want to go home

.......................

Just let it marinate for a sec...

(moment of silence)

Don't get mad at me people but I soo want to molest his brain.

Exquisite.

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