Saturday, October 24, 2009

Random Tidbits...


Just looking at him makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Mmmm mmmm mmmm....

Anywho! An update on my life thus far.

Currently working at the Old Navy on 34th street.

Currently staying at my godmother's house where all the random funny shit happens.

Still not back in my apartment but don't worry I got a plan!

Back to my godmother!

She has to be one of the funniest people I have ever met in my life (besides my late aunt aka her mother).

We were eating dinner one night and she goes to water her plant. She named it after her late fiance Donald.

So she goes:

"Oh Donald you're so dry. I can't keep you so dry when you always used to keep me so wet..."

(silence here............


She seriously cracks me up I can't take it!

She's almost as bad as grandma.

In other news, hi new followers!

My internet access is extremely limited but as soon as I can I will get to reading your links and following you and stuff.

People are actually pretty interesting nowadays.

But I'm on my way to a haunted house now. I fuckin love Halloween.

I'll write another time loves!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Violated Much?

Getting molested by lil' old ladies who are SENILE and do NOT speak ANY english is not fun.

At all.

Just ask me.

So I went to go and visit Grandma not too long ago (she's sarcastic as ever) and we're sitting in the cafeteria with the rest of the old ladies.

There's this one SHORT and i do mean SHORT, like 4 foot 11 hispanic lady talking to me in spanish.

And I don't have a clue what she is saying.

So naturally I look to Grandma for a little advice of how to continue this conversation.

Grandma is listening to the lady and nodding and smiling so I'm following grandma and now I'm nodding and smiling...

And this short lady goes and grabs me, HARD by the arm, and starts talking even more passionately on some Drag Me To Hell shit

(wanna know what's even creepier? the short lady kinda looks like this one).

So now I'm REALLY creeped out and my face is all like O_O when the lady starts laughing...

She then goes to hug me, which turns into her kissing my forehead... cheek.... NECK (and by this point I'm BEYOND uncomfortable...)....

And she starts rubbing her hands on my breasts.

And not just a tap like she wanna play with drums or something.

NOOO! She's rubbin them like she just can't seem to brush the dirt off of them.

I jump up and all I look to my grandma who isn't paying me ANY attention...

And I run downstairs to get some fresh air.

Cause seriously...what the hell I'm gonna do? Call the cops on an old lady?

Have the nurses send her to her room?

It's just a lose-lose situation for me.

(insert sigh here)

I'm gonna go lay down and just pretend like none of that ever happened...

oH! By the way...

Miss me much?