You would think I was asking it for child support money.
I got that bitch tonight!
Hello loves. I missed writing. Very very much.
I've been wrapped up in all of my thoughts and emotions lately...
Not the best place to be if those emotions are negative and unbearable...
I'm gonna tell you what it's like for me to like a guy:
I like him. He likes someone else.
Or is still involved with an ex.
Or not over his ex.
Or feels weird because I dated a mutual friend and it went nowhere. (this doesn't happen often, this is current. the first time).
I'm in one of those Kiss Me Back moments.
I keep begging for this guy to feel the same way as I do (internal begging, I would never say it out loud).
I doubt he even sees.
Or he sees more than he lets on. He's that type of guy.
And all of this wild goose chasing reminds me of a similar relationship we should all be familiar with:
Kermit the Frog and Ms. Piggy.
Now why Ol' Kermit and Ms Piggy?
Because Ms. Piggy was constantly chasing that ungrateful scrawny frog.
She would do anything for him, go anywhere for him...
She was a real ride or die bitch to be blunt.
And how does he repay her?
Flirts with other women in front of her. Blows her off to be with his friends.
And in one of their movies, The Muppets Take Manhattan, he even gave her the biggest insult of all:
They were legally married and he called her a friend!
After all the grief she went through?!
Granted she wasn't the thinnest woman.
Or the GREENEST woman.
She had an over-the-top, giggly, karate-chop personality.
I'll call her vivacious.
And KERMIT was always complainin about something. He was a dull character to me.
I'm just saying we all have had a Kermit in our lives.
And I am not very fond of kissing these frogs to get to my prince.
Excuse me, my KING.
SO! I will write Kermit this letter:
Dear Kermit the Frog, YOU. ARE. AN ASSHOLE! Can't you see how hopelessly devoted Ms. Piggy was to you? Granted she wasn't AS THIN as you or GREEN but she would ride or die for you. She went hard for your heart. And you constantly played her. You deserve to die a slow, torturous, SOBER, rat infested death for the way you treat good women. Or pigs. YOU ASSHOLE! I hope someone in chinatown eats you, you green bastard.
I'm done ranting.
And I promise myself to never settle for a Kermit.
If you kiss me then mean it. And do it often.
BTW: I Don't Care About Your Band by Julie Klausner fueled this.
Blame her for my low tolerance.
Until next time...
P.S. I WOULD have pics up but blogger is disagreeing with me at the moment. So they will have to wait until another time. URGH THIS POST LOOKS SO EMPTY! It's like an itch I can't scratch...