Friday, May 29, 2009

The Classics Pt 1

When you read this Tony, know that this blog is all your fault.
SO me and my good friend Tony share a mutual friend in a boy named Dante.
And when I first saw Dante, for some reason the first thing I thought of was the smurfs.
Not because he looks like one...
It's because my brain is retarded.
ANYWHO ! Recently, me and Tony were talking on AIM and he tells me to turn to Boomerang.
And what's on?
None other than the famous Smurfs.
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Now, many people don't see what is wrong with the old, classic and BETTER cartoons.
Well I have decided that I will enlighten your knowledge-hungry minds.
Smurfology 101
Fact 1: Did you know that there are only 2 girls in the cartoon series? Yes there is 2. It's Smurfette and another girl. A younger girl I might add.
So I'm guessing this is how they repopulated
Now am I the only one who thinks that these girls were kept only for reproducing purposes?
What the hell did they do with the other girls? Drown them at birth?
2 young women in a male domintated society.
God Bless Them.
Fact 2: Smurfette was perceived to be a whore. Now I am not sure if she was or not, and I won't knock her if she was (even though most of those smurfs were gay in my opinion. On one episode, they were trying to teach the baby smurf to swim. Smurfette had on a sexy swimsuit with a hat full of fruits. One smurf comes up to her and instead of complimenting her on the sexy swimsuit, he proceeds to go and say "Oh smurfette I LOVE THAT HAT" and then eats an apple off of it.)
Think about that.
Fact 2 b: The FAGGOTRY of these smurfs is cemented with the popular spoof song (circa 2004) in which Smurfette and Others Lick Papa Smurf's ass.
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Fact 3: The popular villan of the show. Gargamel. What type of name is that? Honestly. What the FACK was his mother drinking the day she dreamt up that name?
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Fact 3b: Gargamel was on crack.
Let that marinate.
And even if he isn't specifically on crack, he is on some type of hallucinatory drug.
EVIDENCE: Well it could be the fact that HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THESE SMURFS!
Him and his cat, who he also lets smoke crack.
And this is all I can write at the moment.
That Smurfs Gone Wild picture killed me.
But I think I proved my point.
Tom And Jerry is Next.
But one last thing on the smurfs.
Can anyone tell me, What THEE FUCK was up with the berries???

Monday, May 25, 2009

The Chronicles of Grandma

Lol no music quote for this entry either...
Unless you got a good theme song for my grandmother's crazy antics.
Please let me know :).
So I was chatting with my friend Satara on aim
(her blogspot: i really love her, i'm always laughing)
And we both agreed that children and old people are hilarious.
And who is more hilarious than MY grandmother.
Looks harmless don't she?
So here is one of the many moments I have shared.
Caution: She's Violent.
Me: (talking on the phone with my sister)
Grandma: Keisha ! Are we alone?
Me: Yeah, grammy, why?
Grandma: Good. (PICKS UP A FORK) Cause I'ma kill you.
As simone would say *blank stare*
Grandma : (evil reckless laughter)
Me: (to my sister) I think I'm gonna sleep in the hallway tonight.
Now I never said my grandmother was nice but Sweet Nanny caught me totally off guard with that one.
What can I say? She's a G.
And I'm probably gonna suffer for it. Oh well.

Lmao Simone Be Talkin Shit !

Lmfao Just Do This For Me:

Ladies will love it better but Fellas don't be discouraged.
Follow her. Add her to your updates. She's too real.
Just do it.

Random post of fury !

Well its 1:50 p.m. and I'm just waking up from a disturbing dream.
I dreamt about my school....Shudder...
So I'm in my school and I'm walking close to my robotics class and the hallway is packed !
I'm chilling with a friend and for some reason I see two people I would not expect to see in my dream.
Micah, who left for Georgia MONTHS ago and Ryan Zimmerman, who I haven't seen in a while.
FDA Heads, you know these people.
So I see Micah and he walks past and me and Ryan strike up some conversation about an old game console he lost.
Mr. Harris tries to harrass me and I run away (heehee).
And somehow I end up in this old abandoned classroom with a bunch of people I never met and a crazy ass woman teacher.
Who happens to be a vampire.
And is torturing us by making us read !
That ain't torture to me.
Back to the story: We're all reading something and telling stories and the guy next to me keeps biting my neck or trying to.
And NOT in the good way.
Several students run out of the classroom and into the hallway.
And the vampire/teacher chases everyone.
The lights go out.
We see the vampire/teacher steal small children.
It's just the rest of us students in the classroom.
Now somehow, I become someone else and start talking about how I blew the roof off of my house and was kicked out by my bitch of a mom...
When people start knocking on the door.
I let in my cousin Seneya and some random other girls who are from my school (and clearly human).
And i tried to lock the door but someONE pushes it back open.
Another girl from my school named Alicea.
And my smart butt goes and asks her, "Don't you need permission to walk in a room?"
To which she replies by converting into full freaky vampire and giving everyone the death stare of doom!
It gets real quiet.
really still.....
And just when she is about to strike I decide I don't want to die in my dream (again) and wake up.
I wake up to daylight and once again wonder....
is wrong with me.
Anyway my sister once gave me a website to interpret my dreams:
And I often go into the dream dictionary part and pick key themes from my dreams to interpret them.
So let's do that, shall we?
  • school: To dream that you are in school, signifies feelings of inadequacy and childhood insecurities that have never been resolved. It may relate to anxieties about your performance and abilities. If you are still in school and dream about school, then it will naturally serve as a backdrop to your dream world.
    Alternatively, a dream that takes place in school may be a metaphor for the lessons that you are learning from your waking life. You may be going through a "spiritual learning" experience.
  • friend: To see friends in your dream, signifies aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to incorporate and acknowledge these rejected aspects of yourself. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself. Additionally, this symbol foretells of happy tidings from them and the arrival of good news.
  • vampire: To see a vampire in your dream, symbolizes seduction and sensuality, as well as fear and death. The vampire represents contrasting images of civilized nobility and aggression/ferocity. It may depict someone in your waking life whose charm may ultimately prove harmful. Deep down inside you know that this person is bad for you, yet you are still drawn to it. Vampires also sometimes relate to decisions about sex and losing your virginity. Alternatively, to see a vampire suggests that you are feeling physically or emotionally drained. The vampire may also be symbolic for someone who is addicted to drugs or someone in an obsessive relationship.

Now after reading all of that.... has failed me.

For the first time.

And seeing as I just realized the gas from my stove was on all night, I'm gonna go turn it off and hope i don't die.