Letter To All You Holiday Shoppers...

Dear Customers,

Although I appreciate your services, and the fact that by you shopping, I am employed...

Please do me a series of favors....

1. When you SEE ME and i do mean directly SEE ME trying to fix a messy display, respect it. I respect you by trying to make sure you can find whatever you're looking for. I'm not saying you gotta be all neat but just don't THROW THE FUCKIN TANK TOPS ALL OVER THE PLACE LADY. WTF? I JUST FIXED THEM! YOUR STUPID ASS DIDN'T EVEN ATTEMPT TO MAKE IT LOOK NEAT OR EVEN PUT IT IN THE RIGHT PLACE! And you sir! SHOES DON'T GO IN THE TANK TOP SECTION!

2. Please....Know what you want to buy when you are at the register. Don't get two bags worth of clothes and decide to sort it out at the register, knowing the lines are so damn long that they're going all the way to the entrance. STOP BEING AN INCONSIDERATE BASTARD FOR ONCE SO WE CAN ALL MOVE ALONG WITH OUR DAY!

3. Stop leaving your fuckin DIRTY PANTIES, PERIOD PADS and CONDOM WRAPPERS IN THE FITTING ROOM! It would be nice if you would stop ha

ving sex there too. But hey if you don't, when you come out of the fitting room after being there for over an hour i DEFINITELY have the right to ask if everything "fit okay". Or if you need a "bigger size".

4. If you leave weed in the fitting room, don't come back for it. It won't be there.

5. Guys would you please stop hitting on me on the salesfloor and in front of managers? It makes me look bad.

6. And finally, if I am courteous to you and have a smile on my face whenever you see me, I would appreciate the same courtesy. I work a 9 hour shift and I go to school so the fact that I have on a genuine smile at all is something to wonder about. If you're gonna act rude and obnoxious then you can take your cheap ass to expensive ass GAP and see if you can find a deal there.

[ side bar: I don't get why people were online at 3 a.m. on Black Friday for Old Navy when there is literally a sale EVERYDAY. It's OLD NAVY for pete's sake! ]

And now back to our regularly scheduled program.

As you can see, work at Old Navy is definitely an experience.

But this paycheck I should be able to buy my new laptop since I killed

my other one.

More blogs coming soon. I'm putting the spotlight on a couple people so that should be fun.

And also, new aim: IceAndAshes7. So hit me up.

SEE YA LOVES!

P.S. STARZ! WHERE YOU AT???

Violated Much?

Getting molested by lil' old ladies who are SENILE and do NOT speak ANY english is not fun.

At all.

Just ask me.

So I went to go and visit Grandma not too long ago (she's sarcastic as ever) and we're sitting in the cafeteria with the rest of the old ladies.

There's this one SHORT and i do mean SHORT, like 4 foot 11 hispanic lady talking to me in spanish.

And I don't have a clue what she is saying.

So naturally I look to Grandma for a little advice of how to continue this conversation.

Grandma is listening to the lady and nodding and smiling so I'm following grandma and now I'm nodding and smiling...

And this short lady goes and grabs me, HARD by the arm, and starts talking even more passionately on some Drag Me To Hell shit

(wanna know what's even creepier? the short lady kinda looks like this one).

So now I'm REALLY creeped out and my face is all like O_O when the lady starts laughing...

She then goes to hug me, which turns into her kissing my forehead...

......my cheek....

......my NECK (and by this point I'm BEYOND uncomfortable...)....

And she starts rubbing her hands on my breasts.

And not just a tap like she wanna play with drums or something.

NOOO! She's rubbin them like she just can't seem to brush the dirt off of them.

I jump up and all I look to my grandma who isn't paying me ANY attention...

And I run downstairs to get some fresh air.

Cause seriously...what the hell I'm gonna do? Call the cops on an old lady?

Have the nurses send her to her room?

It's just a lose-lose situation for me.

(insert sigh here)

I'm gonna go lay down and just pretend like none of that ever happened...

oH! By the way...

Miss me much?

Homeless.

So I got kicked out of my own house last Friday.

The story:

Talked to my sis Rena at like 7 p.m. when I was leaving the nursing home from seeing Grandma.

Got in my house, chilled with my friend Amanda.

My cell phone in my bag in the other room.

My slow ass DSL plugged up into the main line of the phone.

Apparently Rena, Lena and Neicey (my 3 sisters) were trying to call me all night.

Rena busts through the front door (because Rena has a key) at like 12 a.m.

And it all goes downhill from there.

Here's where I'm at fault: I shoulda known these crazy women were gonna be calling me.

I shouldn't have been so careless as to think they would leave me alone for a night.

Because they "love me" too much.

Here's where Rena is at fault. She let her temper get the best of her.

And I really don't like it when people hit or choke me.

Here's where I'm at fault again:

I gave her a black eye.

UNINTENTIONALLY THOUGH!!!

Not my fault her eye was sensitive....

Anyway, my sisters took the keys to my house and they kicked me out.

I'm now staying with my godmother Kelly.

The fuckery is just so great it's ridiculous.

So here are my options:

1) Stay with Kelly and endure contacting my sisters for every little thing while knowing that I can't live in my own damn house for it...and continue to be unhappy

2). Fight for my apartment. Stay with a sympathetic relative .Change the locks. Call the cops because taking my keys is technically illegal...But then I wouldn't have any ties with them. As in relaionship wise, and plus they're still giving me money and things (I have no idea why, I remember Rena screaming "get the fuck out my life" so...)

or

3). Be on the street. Which isn't an option really.

I'm trying to get my school situation together, I had a job interview the other day, what more can I do?

Sighness...Just gonna do what I do best...

Bottle my emotions, make it into a weapon of mass destruction and throw it at people...

Figuratively of course.

Humor me, what's you're opinion?

From left to right: Rena, Lena, Me and Neicey.

Horrible, HORRIBLE, picture...

The Chronicles Of Grandma...Again

So for those of you who don't know, my grandmother is currently in a nursing home recovering from a broken hip...

I affectionately call her the bionic woman.

But I have two stories to tell here:

Story 1:

(back when she was in the hospital)

Me: Grandma why are you so mean? :(

Grammy: I'm not mean.

Me: :( Yes you are...

*commercial for some kids toy comes on t.v.*

Grammy: SHUT UP YOU BRATS!

Me: O.O grandma!

Grammy: What? *so nonchalantly I might add*

Me: You just said you weren't mean and then you just yelled at the kids on tv!

Grammy: I'm not mean if they can't hear me.

................................

LMAO! I find that quite hilarious and true.

Story 2:

*sitting with grammy at the nursing home with her 2 old lady friends. the darker one has threatened to hit another patient over the head with her cane and the hispanic one next to grandma is JUST getting started...

Dark Lady: *points to some man in a wheelchair* Is that a man?

Grammy: Yup.

Hispanic Lady: *THICK accent* Yeah it is and thats one ugly mother fucker.

Me & Amanda: O.O *LMAOOOO!*

Grammy: *laughing* That's not nice, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Hispanic Lady: Well what you want me to say? He's cute? He's an ugly motherfucker.

PART 2!

*nurses come in to give hispanic lady her shot*

Hispanic Lady: GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS!

Nurse 1: Calm down miss, this is for your diabetes

Hispanic Lady: SUCK MY PUSSY YOU BUMS!

Me and Amanda:.................................................

Grammy: *laughing*

Nurse 2: I got her *gives her the shot*

Hispanic: I hope you choke on my cum, you faggot.

Me and Amanda: ..............................!!!!

Hispanic Lady: I got something for your ass alright *picks up a butterknife and threatens the nurses with it*

Grammy: Don't you think you're gonna need something sharper than that? *picks up a FORK*

Now what the hell is up with my grandmother and effing FORKS!?! JESUS! (click the link smh).

I can't. I really can't. *dying of laughter*

The Classics Pt 1

S.M.H.

When you read this Tony, know that this blog is all your fault.

SO me and my good friend Tony share a mutual friend in a boy named Dante.

And when I first saw Dante, for some reason the first thing I thought of was the smurfs.

Not because he looks like one...

It's because my brain is retarded.

ANYWHO ! Recently, me and Tony were talking on AIM and he tells me to turn to Boomerang.

And what's on?

None other than the famous Smurfs.

Now, many people don't see what is wrong with the old, classic and BETTER cartoons.

Well I have decided that I will enlighten your knowledge-hungry minds.

Smurfology 101

Fact 1: Did you know that there are only 2 girls in the cartoon series? Yes there is 2. It's Smurfette and another girl. A younger girl I might add.

So I'm guessing this is how they repopulated

Now am I the only one who thinks that these girls were kept only for reproducing purposes?

What the hell did they do with the other girls? Drown them at birth?

WHERE'S MAMA SMURF??

2 young women in a male domintated society.

God Bless Them.

Fact 2: Smurfette was perceived to be a whore. Now I am not sure if she was or not, and I won't knock her if she was (even though most of those smurfs were gay in my opinion. On one episode, they were trying to teach the baby smurf to swim. Smurfette had on a sexy swimsuit with a hat full of fruits. One smurf comes up to her and instead of complimenting her on the sexy swimsuit, he proceeds to go and say "Oh smurfette I LOVE THAT HAT" and then eats an apple off of it.)

Think about that.

Fact 2 b: The FAGGOTRY of these smurfs is cemented with the popular spoof song (circa 2004) in which Smurfette and Others Lick Papa Smurf's ass.

........AHEM!

Fact 3: The popular villan of the show. Gargamel. What type of name is that? Honestly. What the FACK was his mother drinking the day she dreamt up that name?

Fact 3b: Gargamel was on crack.

................

Let that marinate.

And even if he isn't specifically on crack, he is on some type of hallucinatory drug.

EVIDENCE: Well it could be the fact that HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THESE SMURFS!

Him and his cat, who he also lets smoke crack.

And this is all I can write at the moment.

That Smurfs Gone Wild picture killed me.

But I think I proved my point.

Tom And Jerry is Next.

But one last thing on the smurfs.

Can anyone tell me, What THEE FUCK was up with the berries???