Friday, May 29, 2009

The Classics Pt 1

When you read this Tony, know that this blog is all your fault.
SO me and my good friend Tony share a mutual friend in a boy named Dante.
And when I first saw Dante, for some reason the first thing I thought of was the smurfs.
Not because he looks like one...
It's because my brain is retarded.
ANYWHO ! Recently, me and Tony were talking on AIM and he tells me to turn to Boomerang.
And what's on?
None other than the famous Smurfs.
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Now, many people don't see what is wrong with the old, classic and BETTER cartoons.
Well I have decided that I will enlighten your knowledge-hungry minds.
Smurfology 101
Fact 1: Did you know that there are only 2 girls in the cartoon series? Yes there is 2. It's Smurfette and another girl. A younger girl I might add.
So I'm guessing this is how they repopulated
Now am I the only one who thinks that these girls were kept only for reproducing purposes?
What the hell did they do with the other girls? Drown them at birth?
2 young women in a male domintated society.
God Bless Them.
Fact 2: Smurfette was perceived to be a whore. Now I am not sure if she was or not, and I won't knock her if she was (even though most of those smurfs were gay in my opinion. On one episode, they were trying to teach the baby smurf to swim. Smurfette had on a sexy swimsuit with a hat full of fruits. One smurf comes up to her and instead of complimenting her on the sexy swimsuit, he proceeds to go and say "Oh smurfette I LOVE THAT HAT" and then eats an apple off of it.)
Think about that.
Fact 2 b: The FAGGOTRY of these smurfs is cemented with the popular spoof song (circa 2004) in which Smurfette and Others Lick Papa Smurf's ass.
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Fact 3: The popular villan of the show. Gargamel. What type of name is that? Honestly. What the FACK was his mother drinking the day she dreamt up that name?
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Fact 3b: Gargamel was on crack.
Let that marinate.
And even if he isn't specifically on crack, he is on some type of hallucinatory drug.
EVIDENCE: Well it could be the fact that HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THESE SMURFS!
Him and his cat, who he also lets smoke crack.
And this is all I can write at the moment.
That Smurfs Gone Wild picture killed me.
But I think I proved my point.
Tom And Jerry is Next.
But one last thing on the smurfs.
Can anyone tell me, What THEE FUCK was up with the berries???

1 comment:

  1. hahaha...u got me looking at the smurfs in a whole new light now. hahaha...
    wow. but it all makes sense now.