Around this time last year I was:
1. Kicked out of my home and living with my godmother
2. Hurt and confused that the guy I was talking to kept giving me mixed signals
3. I was still finding myself
4. Heavily depressed and repressing it.
Boy if I knew then what I know now....
December and January were my worst months.
Also, they were the first months in which I ever got drunk.
And thus, this freewrite:
Alcohol always tastes like
Women with no strength for teaching
The ones who lost their love in the laundry
Women who stitch their fears to bar glasses
Who never told me to button my jumpy bones
Is not a good friend of mine
We are about as close as
The quiet grazing an ex lover's mouth
And the thunder lapping tongue between his & mine.
My tonsils don't hold sun storms well.
Sweaty hands can unhook
Even the most strategically placed underwire
I own secrets in that metal
Can you handle the breaths beneath the bra?
I start to remember
I cannot afford the morning.
Cotton swished aftermath
A sunrise too wooden to make peace with.
I lose the pieces.
I know that this is a new year, and the past is past and all...
But I just can't forget where I came from.
Where I was. It keeps chasing me.
Something about it just won't let me be...