*Baby steps back into my focus.
I've been so unfocused lately.
I need to start writing like I'm running again.*
There's just something about the way
Doubt sits in your spit
And the spit sits in your lie
The way the lie hits your breath
When you realize you loved me past Wednesday.
I cradle myself
Into routine baptism
Dunking away the denial
Rippling in the scream I've thrown you
You catch it like a cramp
In the crooked noose of your neck.
You disappear before I see you.
I know you were there.
Don't tell me this space never felt your presence
Cock eyed smile
Alley slanted grin
You were standing next to me.
You leave me undefended.
I jerk around battles bigger
Than any nightmare. Closer
Than jolting backwards into arms
That could never jerk me forward in time.
I open my eyes
I take a deep breath
And thank the lucky stars for the solidness of bed sides.