Tonight.

Tonight I am angry.

Tonight....

I am frustrated.

I am sick.

I am not in the mood for bullshit.

The world should look out tonight.

Tonight...

I'm on a rampage.

Full Circle.

I remember the Fall with you.


Walks splintered into my stopwatch of a schedule.


Stanzas squeezed into the streaming of my pulse.


You held my hand once.


You remember?


I remember laying in the park with you.


Hesitation fed by petty grass stains.


This was before I wanted to untie the soul


You secretly twisted in your tongue.


It was simple then.


When I was still too afraid to be hopeful.


When I molded you out of


The freshest dirt in my day dream.


Before I got hit with a heart


Full of quaking bricks.


I remember your breath before the sunset.


The way a smile used to taste on you.


The way the sun winked at the hardened glass


In your eyes.


Back when I liked your eyes best.


When I didn't mind them being quiet


And safe.


I remember my frostbitten breathing.


Watching windows


And accepting the fog to them.


I remember the tears in the train station.


I remember your phone number.


I remember all the sweet words flexed away from me


The alcohol swished in your system


The truth you spilled because of it.


It's September again.


I remember the poisoned peace you never owed me.


The lead I still carry in my rib cage.


The way it weighs me down when I flit forward.


I remember silly poems.


And late night phone conversations.


I remember how you bit too hard


How I never had the guts to tell you.


And I keep wondering


If it was really that easy for you to forget.

Nothing Fancy...

But I'm gonna need you to stay around...


Please.

It's Been A While...

10-1
(ten to one)

Ten things you wish you could say to ten different people.

Or in my case...

10 different things that will eventually, in their own time...

Find a way to be said.

GO!

I wish I could shield you
from all the hurt and the stress mama.
Purple looks lovely on you.
Bruises don't.
Good thing I have several band aids handy.

I just want to make you proud of me.
And me proud of me.
It's not so simple is it?

You are a daily reminder
That there is good in the world.
I hope you get all you deserve.
And soon.

Still trying to double edge me I see
I was built for people like you.
I wonder what you're going to do
When there's nothing around
To sharpen that bitter blade of yours?

I must admit
That some nights
I remember the intimacy.
If I could've done things differently
And still be able to keep my lessons
I would.
It doesn't work like that.
I'm adding a layer of dust to your photograph.

I'm sorry I don't call more often.
I'm not used to doing that,
You should know, you taught me.
Wait.
You have a telephone also!
There goes my guilt.

I really
Really really
Really really really
Want to release this in poem form.
I'll wait for you to do it first.
My responses are usually stronger than the original.
Holla at me.

Good luck!
I believe in you.
No pressure.
Or rather don't pressure yourself.
We have enough things to bitch about as it is.

Beginnings are always beautiful.
But I'm looking for consistency.
Are you good with that?

I got used to the treadmill love
Where no matter how fast you run,
You're stuck at the starting point,
Only exhausted.
You know what happens when a woman gets tired?

Part 2 Of How I'm Feeling Right Now

Cute right?

Part 1 Of How I'm Feeling Right Now

"Don't let go too soon. But don't hang on too long."

-Mitch Albom

Don't hang on at all actually. See if someone catches you.