Bare All Cold Weather

Let's get personal and recap for a second.

Around this time last year I was:

1. Kicked out of my home and living with my godmother

2. Hurt and confused that the guy I was talking to kept giving me mixed signals

3. I was still finding myself

4. Heavily depressed and repressing it.


Boy if I knew then what I know now....


I digress.

December and January were my worst months.

Also, they were the first months in which I ever got drunk.

And thus, this freewrite:

I.

Alcohol always tastes like

Women with no strength for teaching

The ones who lost their love in the laundry

Women who stitch their fears to bar glasses

Like mothers

Who never told me to button my jumpy bones

Silently.

II.

Drunk

Is not a good friend of mine

We are about as close as

The quiet grazing an ex lover's mouth

And the thunder lapping tongue between his & mine.

My tonsils don't hold sun storms well.

III.

Sweaty hands can unhook

Even the most strategically placed underwire

I own secrets in that metal

Can you handle the breaths beneath the bra?

IV.

I start to remember

I cannot afford the morning.

Cotton swished aftermath

A sunrise too wooden to make peace with.

V.

I lose the pieces.

I know that this is a new year, and the past is past and all...

But I just can't forget where I came from.

Where I was. It keeps chasing me.

Something about it just won't let me be...