UPDATE*!

Update on Weekend Fuckery:

Someone didn't slash the tires. They just took the caps off and let the air seep out...

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WTF?!

*end fuckery*

To answer some of the comments on that post, since for whatever reason I don't feel like doing it ON the post:

"Dub", Raina said she never went to Hackensack High but she did go to Dwight Morrow or something like that.

Miss Odukoya xx, DON'T PANIC! PANIC JUST MAKES THINGS WORSE...and silly looking.

P.s. Thanx about the outfit, but cause of the shoes I have mosquito bites all over my feet. And they're swollen.

And also for the click the link post...TRY AGAIN! teehee

SMH though. They really took the caps off. WTF?!

Welp. What can you do?

Weekend Fuckery...

Hold on tight folks, it's a long one...

Let's see if my writing skills are sharp enough to make this short.

My Weekend:

Went up to jersey to visit my cousin Raina .

She lives in hackensack. Wanted to go to Club Abyss in sayreville to see Pleasure P.

Btw, dude was twisted!


Saw lots of groupies. And lots of drunk men.

I had fun, but if I go to a club next time, remind me to go with a bunch of lesbians, they seemed to have more fun.

Anyway, we get out of the club at 2:00 a.m.

And the valet gives Raina her car back.

With 2 flat tires....

Now when we went to the club, our tires were fine.

WHICH MEANS:

a) someone slashed her DAD'S tires. mind u its not her car

or

b) the valet drove over something. bastards.

At this point they're rushing us to get off of the premises and by the time we do, we realize that we don't know how to change a tire.

We proceed back to the club where they tell us that because we already vacated the premises that there is nothing they can do.

And they're laughing.


2 of the bouncers were nice enough to help us...but they just made shit worse.

We needed a jack to elevate the car so they could try and change the tires.

What went wrong:

1. The spare tire was a flat tire and we needed another tire anyway

2. The only reason the jack was able to lift the car up high enough was because the tires were flat. Trying to put the tires back on resulted in...impossibility.

So it's 3 a.m. and we're stuck an hour away from Hackensack, with no food or money, an almost dead car battery and 2 flat tires. That aren't even on the car.

Plus this is Raina's DAD's car. So you know we in for some shit.

Especially since we found out that she didn't exactly tell him she was going to a club...

Raina, Raina, Raina...

So she calls Dad knowing she about to get her ass Kicked, smashed, Killed...

And he doesnt answer.

So now we're stranded.

How are we gonna get home???

We call a tow truck.

At 3:30 a.m.

And they're just down the street, like a mile away or so.

They didn't get to us until 6 a.m.

.........................................

My mosquito bites are atrocious.

But on TOP of all of that, we had to pay extra to get the tires put back on.




In short:





A night of fun at the club: $20






A ride home from the club in a tow truck : $275

Seeing the look on Raina's dad's face when we pulled up at 8 a.m. (IN THE RAIN) :





Priceless.




Atleast my outfit was cute:

A product of raiding Raina's closet.

What a night.

I think it's that time again...

Here we are again. Another case of the ex story.

Don't you just love these entries?

Anyway this is Malcolm.

Nice abs, sucky attitude.

I met him when I was 15 and he was 18. He had a problem with my age but he's a dude, I'm a chick, and he went for it anyway.

He was 3 years older and couldn't believe a girl my age was so intelligent and had common sense.

And I must say, I'm one of a kind. I'm pretty strange but I'm not boring.

I forget how many months we were going out. All I remember is the stress from it.

He was rude and obnoxious. He got into my head and made me believe that I was soo special and then tried to bend me to his will every chance he got. He was insecure. A little bit possessive. Immature at the wrong times. One of those types where it's all about him. Whenever we have a conversation, it's always HIS goals (that he never fulfilled) or HIS dreams (which are unrealistic) or sex.

sex sex sex sex sex.

A turn off.

He was a libra. Freaky bastards.

I digress. He was so interesting at first. I loved our conversations. We talked about the future, school, getting jobs, college, clothes, people, weather, seasons...

He was such a refreshing face! I had just stopped going back to my first love and the dude I was dating in between was no longer interested in me.

And here comes this attractive guy, with good conversation, nice teeth and skin...

I'm was mostly influenced by the movie Love Jones though. It had just came on 20 mins before I met Malcolm. I took it as a sign.

Can you blame me?

Our first argument:

Me: I don't smoke weed. And you can't pass that test you need for your job if you keep doing it.

Him: *Rolls a blunt and inhales* Mhm.

Me: Bye Malcolm

Him: *laughing* you mad?

Me:*storms out*

That first argument led to other arguments about me cheating on him, seeing other dudes, not doing what he wanted in bed...

On and on and on for months.

I remember very clearly, I had a very bad day. I needed him to support me emotionally.

He was nowhere to be found. Wouldn't answer my calls. And when he did and I complained about his bullshit, I get this response:

Malcom: Look I don't have time to hear you scream okay. I'm trynna do what I wanna do. I work now. I got a job. I don't want to hear all of this.

Me: But you said you were going to be there for me.

Malcolm: When I said I was gonna be there for you, I didn't mean it literally!

.......

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Sad part is: He really said that shit. Just like that. I'll never forget it.

And somehow I just let it roll off of me, but I didn't call him again. We lost contact over the years.

I found out he had sex with an old friend of mine and on his old myspace there are pictures of his new baby boy.

And every now and again he would message me and try to reach me but I was still too angry to even take notice.

Fast Forward to today:

Message on myspace. He sends his number. Says hey, it's been a long time, I would really like to catch up.

So I call. It's been 3 years. I'm bored and cranky, why the hell not?

It starts off a little awkward, but he's asking me how I've been, how old I am now, what I've been up to, school, college, etc...

Strike 1: SO are you single now? he asks.

Why the flock would YOU wanna know negroe? Why is it any of your concern? I ain't going backwards to your rude and crazy ass.

Strike 2: (Talks mostly about himself and career goals for 45 mins)

*Please note, I stayed on the phone this long because my aim buddies suck. Alot. And sleep was not an option. Followers, do you have aim? Let's chat so we can avoid another situation like this*

Strike 3: Malcolm: "it's almost a yr to the day we started talking. and don't think im trynna get with u or nothin, oh no it's nothing like that but remember we said if it didn't work out we would meet back up when u were 18"

SO WHY BRING IT UP THEN?

What's your game, Malcolm cuz I really DON'T feel like playing.

Plus I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER SAYING THAT SHIT!

And the kicker of the story!!!

Strike FOUR: Have you ever lived one of your fantasies? Because I would love to see you (insert explicit nature of threesome here)

Me:..........Listen i got some1 on the other line so ima speak to u another time.

Malcolm: alrite but call me when----

CLICK!

The fuckery. The pure, unadulterated fuckery. The nerve. His own kid should smack him for that one.

Just no words. Again. I sure know how to pick them. SMH!

Needless to say he won't get a call back. Moral of the story: Keep the skeletons in the closet. They're ugly to look at in broad daylight.

The things I do out of boredom.

The Classics Pt 1

S.M.H.

When you read this Tony, know that this blog is all your fault.

SO me and my good friend Tony share a mutual friend in a boy named Dante.

And when I first saw Dante, for some reason the first thing I thought of was the smurfs.

Not because he looks like one...

It's because my brain is retarded.

ANYWHO ! Recently, me and Tony were talking on AIM and he tells me to turn to Boomerang.

And what's on?

None other than the famous Smurfs.

Now, many people don't see what is wrong with the old, classic and BETTER cartoons.

Well I have decided that I will enlighten your knowledge-hungry minds.

Smurfology 101

Fact 1: Did you know that there are only 2 girls in the cartoon series? Yes there is 2. It's Smurfette and another girl. A younger girl I might add.

So I'm guessing this is how they repopulated

Now am I the only one who thinks that these girls were kept only for reproducing purposes?

What the hell did they do with the other girls? Drown them at birth?

WHERE'S MAMA SMURF??

2 young women in a male domintated society.

God Bless Them.

Fact 2: Smurfette was perceived to be a whore. Now I am not sure if she was or not, and I won't knock her if she was (even though most of those smurfs were gay in my opinion. On one episode, they were trying to teach the baby smurf to swim. Smurfette had on a sexy swimsuit with a hat full of fruits. One smurf comes up to her and instead of complimenting her on the sexy swimsuit, he proceeds to go and say "Oh smurfette I LOVE THAT HAT" and then eats an apple off of it.)

Think about that.

Fact 2 b: The FAGGOTRY of these smurfs is cemented with the popular spoof song (circa 2004) in which Smurfette and Others Lick Papa Smurf's ass.

........AHEM!

Fact 3: The popular villan of the show. Gargamel. What type of name is that? Honestly. What the FACK was his mother drinking the day she dreamt up that name?

Fact 3b: Gargamel was on crack.

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Let that marinate.

And even if he isn't specifically on crack, he is on some type of hallucinatory drug.

EVIDENCE: Well it could be the fact that HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THESE SMURFS!

Him and his cat, who he also lets smoke crack.

And this is all I can write at the moment.

That Smurfs Gone Wild picture killed me.

But I think I proved my point.

Tom And Jerry is Next.

But one last thing on the smurfs.

Can anyone tell me, What THEE FUCK was up with the berries???