You Should Remember

I go ghost sometimes.

Sorry? I am. But don't I make it worth your while?

Yes! And if I don't, don't correct me!

I need my ego these days.


Here's a 10-1. Click that link to see what a 10-1 is if you're a new pair of eyes.

I have a couple of these.

Enjoy.

You must have forgotten about my temper.
That I am Zeus in his arrogance.
Lightning ever ready.
You don't want to be the fried tree
In the way of a traveler's commute
Do you?

I have a problem
With seeing things
As I am.
You are not as I am.
You are a mixed blessing.
But hey, aren't they all?

You're only human.
You're no superwoman.
Yet.

I remember Harlem
Toasted in the back of my neck
Biting at the frost of your arms.
I'll always remember.
But I can't forget I've moved on.

"You are very
Very
Sure of yourself aren't you?"

Distance
Is like Time.
We just don't know where it will lead us.

My voice gets trapped in the furniture here.
How clever you have been!
Ensnaring my voice in wood,
Captivating my words in metal and linen.
You're counting on my insanity
Aren't you?

Music
Isn't the only thing about us.
Music
Isn't the only thing
I'm afraid of.

I'm old enough
To know a snake when I see one
To know a trap when I see one
To booby trap
To tame a beast
To gain a pet
If I want one.

You've never been wiser.

I've never been wiser.

We

Have never been

Wise.

Today I Am Rambling

Jealousy is a wretched condition.

I am jealous of boys who play nurse to their mothers, wait on them hand and foot.

I am jealous of the mothers.

Jealous that authority doesn't always just bridge the generation gap, no, instead it is threaded to her apron.

I am fearful of being that girl in the back of the closet

Behind that old sneaker smell, folded on forgotten sweaters.


The only thing worse than Jealousy is Longing.

It is the infant gnawing on raw nipples, savage, unapologetic.

It is as viral as hunger, as blinding as pain, that drive is too demanding!

I long for myself.

For a braver woman, a woman of no nonsense.

A woman who makes a woman's mistakes. Not a girl's but a woman's.


I COULD say a woman wouldn't have done the things I have done but that wouldn't be true.

She wouldn't have done the things I have done AGAIN or as often.

For women were girls once, even though I am no longer a girl.

I am the dusk and dawn of my era.

I am the rise and set of my age.


Sometimes I long for a man who tries to parallel me.

He is aggressive.

As succulent as the after pain of a neck bite.

All teeth. Gentle.

He is a MAN, muscular, feral, predatory.

Protective. Interested.

His lips are no longer a myth, they are a tradition.


This man knows what I mean when I say awesome.

And AWEsome.

He knows he is the difference and I am the tone.


Then I stop dreaming.

I stop longing.

I put on my pants, apply some eyeliner and get ready to go to work.

I go back to train fares and stations, dirty break rooms, dreading my sister's return.

I go back to blocking out the white bred radio, humming unfinished songs, watching time tick.

I try to forget that this space, this time, my "home" is a library.

I try to forget that I am borrowing here.

That there is a fine and I already pay a lot of prices.

But most importantly I try to forget the longing.

That jealousy is its sister.

I try to forget that I long for HE who is shelter and passion.

And I try to remember to be all TEETH.

You Miss Me.

I haven't been blogging.

I have so much to say.

A gagillion ten to ones

About 5 poems

Songs songs songs...

They're coming soon.

I have to find the words! Jeesh!

I'll be back when I've found them.

Sometimes it's just easier to be.

So that's what I'm doing. What you should be doing.

BEING.

See you soon!

Forgetful Things

I had a nice twitter rant. Inspired by my friend Tanya.

Oh! Follow me? Only if you're gonna speak!

@IceAndAshes

Anywho. These are things I shouldn't forget.

Dear Morning,
Make me forget the chase.
Remind me that these knees are too weary from praying
And track ain't my strong point.

Dear Sun, you were there with me...
Skin often lies but your light doesn't.

When you're waiting for his call
Remember his arms.
How they squeezed the breath into you.
You're still breathing. That's important.

When you feel those eyes watching you...
Turn your back on them.
Maybes always win staring contests.
We too grown for maybes.

When the guilt grapples your tongue
Remember the fire. How unreliable it is.
The only thing promised is ice in the artic
And ashes for dinner.

Shit, even ice melts.
Burn the memories. Then blow them away.
This ain't a funeral.
Mourn nothing.

When you're waiting for his smile
Remember the clutter.
You'll get lost there
With no one to "save" you but the rats.
Leave.

If you're still waiting for the prick of his fingers
Tell your lower back to keep quiet.
It don't know ache like your heart do.
It can't heal...

Remember his mouth.
The skepticism.
You never really knew where his has been...
Did it make you forget where you were?

Get used to the quiet.
It's always been there.
Nothing loves you like silence does.

Ziggy.

I will write a song for you.

For us.

But for you.

You need to settle into your skin comfortably.

Love like a river.

You need to be!

I'm here.

I promise you..

You Forgive Me.

Internet eludes me at home.

I'm currently in my local library praying for instrumentals.

To write to of course.

Smooth instrumentals, r & b, neosoul, hip hop...

Something to groove to.

Ever been so inspired you get stuck

and have no clue what to do with yourself?

Causes of my stuckness:

Dom O Briggs

&

Humuni .

I haven't heard music projects that got me this hype since Lupe Fiasco's Enemy Of The State.


Anywho...I've been courting my pen lately.

I'm ready to really immerse myself in my writing.

I will be posting something soon.

Hopefully.

You know how the internet teases me.

*goes back to bumping music*

Love Ya!

9:44 A.M.

This started out as an ode to crushing on impossible people.

But hey! I have enough things to say to make this a Ten to One.

So let's get cracking, shall we?

You should learn me.
Never had patience for women who hug their flailing woes
Blindly.
You got a heart like a forest fire.
There is no mirror here.
Stop looking for yourself.

I can respect loyalty.
It's scarce in this day and age.
But....
You have the smile of A students
With their gpas creasing at their corners.
In the end it doesn't matter.
In the end, you never learned.

There are several things we can withstand
I have a feeling THIS is not one of them.

I wade with you.
This is the best I can do.
I'm sorry.

I almost made a foolish mistake.
Stupid stupid stupid.
I almost let you see my notebook.
And all the cells that make it
All the skin that carries it
Stupid stupid stupid.
I won't be making that mistake again.

I miss us.
And our outings.
You da best homie.
See you this break.

We share
Every fiber
Every Cell
Every Gut Twist
On this body.
And yet my heart
Still overbearingly belongs to you.
Give it back.

I don't know why
I keep assuming you want to know me.
You just say things because that's what your tongue
Is used to.
That's all your taste buds know.
Flatlines
And lines that fall flat.

I've learned
That when you find the scrunchiest of faces
Endearing
That you should run for the hills.
And boy am I running.

Promises are so easy to break.
Remember that.