Inspiration For the Day

I have some really talented friends...

This is Tony.

(he's so gonna kill me for using this pic :D )

My best friend of almost a year now.

My twin, the guy version of myself.

And this is a poem he wrote today:

I could never tell what you are sometimes

Like clouds floating in my mind I try to figure you out

I find myself having trouble with this

For others they see beauty all I see is a blank canvas

It is not your fault that I don't understand you but then again...

Its your fault for not wanting me too.

All I gotta say is he has some hidden talent...

And I wanna hear more.

Don't you?

My Life According to Jill...reallly.

Been tagged on something again!

And heehee it looks like fun...

Instructions: Using only song titles from ONE ARTIST OR BAND, answer these questions. Pass it on to 12 people and include me. You can't use the artist or band I used. Do not repeat a song title. Re-post as "My Life According to (ARTIST OR BAND NAME)"

And since Starz stole Brandy ima go with...

JILL SCOTT!

Let's get this bitch started.

Pick Your Artist: Jill Scott!!

Are you a male or female? : Can't Explain. (true as hell. feel like a dude sometimes.)

Describe yourself: The Rightness.

How do you feel: I'm Not Afraid. (not anymore anyway...)

Describe where you currently live: Bedda at Home. (ha!)

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Family Reunion (with a videotape)

Your favorite form of transportation: A Long Walk.

Your best friend is: The Real Thing.

Your favorite color is: Honey Molasses.

What's the weather like: Spring Summer Feeling

Favorite time of the day: Insomnia

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: Easy Conversation.

What is life to you: Not Like Crazy.

Your relationships: Gettin In The Way. (TRUTH!)

Your fear: My Love.

What is the best advice you have to give?: Breathe.

If you could change your name, you would change it to: Golden

Thought for the Day: Epiphany.

How I would like to die: Whenever You're Around. (truth !!)

My soul's present condition: One is the Magic Number.

You know what's crazy? I think this just summed up all I had to say today.

But as for who i tag...

1. Ziggy

2. Satara

3. Ashante

4. Tori

5. EVERYBODY ELSE MUAHAHAHA!

*yeah i'm type lazy. :-P what u gonna do bout it?*

Promoting...AGAIN!

I'm letting it be known that I will be the first to create an I-LOVE-ZIGGY fan club.

And if you haven't guessed, the person in that dope ass pic is named Ziggy.

She's friggin awesome.

I met her on myspace and her personality is so REFRESHING!

Follow the blog: http://dekuumba.blogspot.com/

And yes, do it because I said so.

(*insert silence*)

MUAHAHAHAHAA!

conversation on that pic:

Me: what the hell?? are you in the air?? can you fly??

Ziggy: Yes. I'm fly. oh..you mean cannn i fly? haha..thats what my wings are for :):) lol

Lol. Love her.

Fuck A Content Warning!

So I noticed alot of blogs I follow have that pretty little sign up there.

Examples: Tori and Dearly Beloved. Don't be afraid to click those links.

And I was wondering why they put that there.

Then I realized...

Dearly Beloved's blog should be rated R and Tori's blog needs to be mother fuckin NC-17.

Or TV-MA.

And I took a look at my precious little gem here, and realize that my speech isn't always PG either...

But fuck a content warning!

When people meet me, there's no warning sign that says:

EXCESSIVE POTTY MOUTH!

CARRYING A THOUSAND POUNDS OF STRESS!

EXTREMELY SEXUAL!

(lol that one is for you Tori, if you read my comment on your last post)

There's no content warning in real life.

And I would like to think that this blog is real. It's a reflection of me and my bullshit, so how can it NOT be real?

The shit my grandma and her friends say is a little TOO real.

(someone remind me to take a pic of the hispanic lady)

So with that being said, NEW FOLLOWERS DON'T BE ALARMED.

It's just me.

Raw as ever. Without the label.

!@#$%!

Dear Dell Computers,

Who the HELL do you think you are?? I friggin HATE you with an EXTREME passion! How dare you make a Dell Vista sound like such a great deal and then as soon as the warranty runs out, the computer shuts down. Or keeps cutting off. OR DEVELOPS A BAD HARD DRIVE! I believed in you Dell, when everyone said you were trash it was I ALONE who defended you. And you fuck me over. You inconsiderate, shady, greedy mother fuckers. GRRRRRRR! I hope you all die. In a ditch. After getting hit by a PARKED bus and ran over by a motor boat. With glitter, syphillis and your fucking logo on it. Just rot in a ditch in Antartica somwhere. And suffer slowly. Right next to Souljah Boy.

Signed,

Angry Consumer # 7561234

So if you haven't noticed, I kinda despise my laptop at the moment.

I named her cookie and was sooo in love when I first got her.

Now she cuts off my sentences, shuts me down when I'm having fun and if I try to argue with her, she makes me internet connection slower.

..............

Stupid bitch.

Well she has a bad hard drive. And my broke ass is gonna pay the $60 to get her fixed. Then I'm selling her.

I'm gonna fix her up real nice and then be DONE with Dell for good.

So on that note...Does anybody know who's interested in buying a Dell Vista laptop with a built in webcam for only $700?

(i wish my sister woulda payed $700 for this ishh. she payed like $1400 AND CHANGE. grrr)

Please hit me up when info if you do.

P.S. I might have to take a hiatus if this joint keeps shutting off. But don't worry. I'll always come back.

For now I'm just gonna suffer.

Now, off to send hate mail!!

Getting Tested

Naiema on Getting Tested:

"It wasn't that scary for me. It's like when a person has cancer or something. They're dying slowly. They know that they're doomed. So they accept it"

...O_O

BTW: She tested negative for ALL STDS !!! But thought she was doomed. sweet surprise?

Anywho, I wanna get tested this month. It will be the second most important appointment I make (the dentist has top priority).

And as we go on with this subject I will flashback into my first GYN visit... :

.................................................................................................................................................................

..................................................................................................................................................................

.................................................................................................................................................................

ARE YOUR FINGERS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE????

*end flashback*

Moral of the story. Don't be a punk. Get tested.

Sweet Dreams...

Oh sleep. How you elude me...

So I stay at my sister Rena's house during the week and last night was one of the worse nights ever.

1. Mosquitoes were fuckin me up non-stop with no remorse. They even went for the face. So now I have a huge dot on my forhead.

2. I couldn't sleep in the first place and when I finally got tired, I kept gettin bit up.

3. Her cat is a horny bastard. I won't even go into details.

Anyway, I finally got a nap in early this morning and what happens?

I have a friggin nightmare.

It's a story folks so here we go:

In this dream I was trapped in Washington Irving High School merged with Bread and Roses with several other teens.

It went from being both of those schools to being a huge ass castle that was locked and no goddamn body had the effin key.

Now this wasn't your regular horror "some-spirit-or-crazy-person-is-gonna-kill-us-off-one-by-one" movie...

The thing that happened to be attacking us was our own FEARS in the flesh.

I cant really remember what all the other's peoples fears were but (sigh) my fear was being afraid by everybody else's fear.

I got triple the scared.

And woke up with triple the sweat.

But that wasn't my ONLY fear, I also feared I would be in an unknown place and all these people would turn on me and try to kill me zombie style.

R.I.P. to the King of Pop.

But anyway, these fears are threatening to really be my undoing when the principal of the schools/castle comes out of nowhere and releases me.

This character was played by my sister's on again and off again boyfriend Jack, owner of the Den, 13oth streets famed restaurant.

He releases me from the school, or so it seems.

Because to top it all off I got a NEW fear:

Not being able to escape or get home.

So it's all this vivid, vicious cycle spinning around and around and around in my head until....

The ringing phone wakes me up.

I have never been more grateful for telemarketers in my life.

And trust me I'm NEVER grateful.

(inconsiderate bastards)

Anyway just had to share folks, and I'll lay off the snacks before bedtime...

Maybe.

Y_Y O-- !

I miss my cousin Raina.

My Thong Buddy Twin....

With the swagalicious booty....

I'm trynna make it up to Jersey next weekend.

I'm trynna have an adventure.

Y_Y O-- !!!!

(you ain't gotta understand it. but love it anyway.)

Note to self...

I'm older...

Wiser....

Stronger....

Better....

So self, do me a favor....

And PLEASE....

STOP LETTING ME DO STUPID SHIT!

ahem* Thanx.

That is All.

*

The Chronicles Of Grandma...Again

So for those of you who don't know, my grandmother is currently in a nursing home recovering from a broken hip...

I affectionately call her the bionic woman.

But I have two stories to tell here:

Story 1:

(back when she was in the hospital)

Me: Grandma why are you so mean? :(

Grammy: I'm not mean.

Me: :( Yes you are...

*commercial for some kids toy comes on t.v.*

Grammy: SHUT UP YOU BRATS!

Me: O.O grandma!

Grammy: What? *so nonchalantly I might add*

Me: You just said you weren't mean and then you just yelled at the kids on tv!

Grammy: I'm not mean if they can't hear me.

................................

LMAO! I find that quite hilarious and true.

Story 2:

*sitting with grammy at the nursing home with her 2 old lady friends. the darker one has threatened to hit another patient over the head with her cane and the hispanic one next to grandma is JUST getting started...

Dark Lady: *points to some man in a wheelchair* Is that a man?

Grammy: Yup.

Hispanic Lady: *THICK accent* Yeah it is and thats one ugly mother fucker.

Me & Amanda: O.O *LMAOOOO!*

Grammy: *laughing* That's not nice, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Hispanic Lady: Well what you want me to say? He's cute? He's an ugly motherfucker.

PART 2!

*nurses come in to give hispanic lady her shot*

Hispanic Lady: GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS!

Nurse 1: Calm down miss, this is for your diabetes

Hispanic Lady: SUCK MY PUSSY YOU BUMS!

Me and Amanda:.................................................

Grammy: *laughing*

Nurse 2: I got her *gives her the shot*

Hispanic: I hope you choke on my cum, you faggot.

Me and Amanda: ..............................!!!!

Hispanic Lady: I got something for your ass alright *picks up a butterknife and threatens the nurses with it*

Grammy: Don't you think you're gonna need something sharper than that? *picks up a FORK*

Now what the hell is up with my grandmother and effing FORKS!?! JESUS! (click the link smh).

I can't. I really can't. *dying of laughter*

Freedom?

I am angry.

GRRRRR!!!!

For no apparent reason at all.

Maybe it's my lack of freedom?

I think it's the lack of freedom.

My sisters are always trying to control my life....

I'm beholden to my friends because they need me....

I often feel pressure to be THIS WAY or THAT WAY...

I'm always someone's SISTER, someone's LOVER, someone's FRIEND, someone's CRUTCH, someone's GRANDDAUGHTER, someone's DAUGHTER, someone's CRUSH, someone's STUDENT, someone's ROLE MODEL...

And if I am all of these things....

Then I belong to each and every person who views me that way.

I feel like I give everything I have to these people, friends, sisters, boyfriends, other...

Take care of your Grandmother Keisha. Make sure she's fed, she's clean and her laundry is done.

Take care of the bills Keisha, get a job so you can pay the cable and the phone.

Where are you going today Keisha? Call me when you leave and when you get there and if I call you in between you better answer my calls.

Why don't we talk as often Keisha? Why do I always have to hit you up first?

Keisha I have a problem, can you stay on the phone with me while I whine about things for hours and hours and not even ask you about your day?

Pick up your godbrothers Keisha, because I can't right now.

Loan me some money, even though I won't give it back to you.

Get your grades up Keisha. Get your diploma.

Go to the rent office and make sure everything is in order.

Stop them from kicking you out of your apartment.

Get out of your apartment, you're not allowed to stay there.

Talk to me Keisha, because you have no choice.

Keisha

Keisha

KEISHA!

STOP!

Let me breathe....

(by the way i misspelled my name like seven times while typing this)

What do I have left to give ME?

For once I would just like to belong to no one but God and myself.

Fuck everybody else.

I think Anne Rice described it best in her book, The Vampire Lestat, where the mother speaks of her idea of freedom:

"I imagine going into the village and up into the inn and taking into my bed any men that come there--crude men, big men, old men, boys. Just lying there and taking them one after another, and feeling some magnificent triumph in it, some absolute release without a thought of what happens to your father or your brothers, whether they are alive or dead. In that moment I am purely myself. I belong to no one."

Yes. That's exactly it. Maybe not so much sexual freedom as the freedom to do whatever I please without caring about judgement...

Whatever I please....

It sounds so good.

And yet so very unattainable.

Oh well. I'm just gonna blast these thoughts out my head with music.

I'll have another story. Maybe later. Maybe not.

Random Post of Frustration

Dear Internet Explorer 8,


FUCK YOU! You were an update, meaning, you were supposed to make my internet a happier place to be. A more CONVIENT place to be. Somewhere where I would have no difficulty trying to open the random links that my friends and followers send me. HOW DARE YOU suck such DIRTY BALLS with your browser suggestions and lack of the ability to let me open a new tab? Our relationship was short and it shall remain so. I'm going back to 7. You Dicklet.

Love, Keisha

(inspired by simone )

P.S. You're the Dead one.

A More FORMAL Welcome Back...

Hello world. Back from the poconos as you can see....

It was really nice up there, must vacation again soon.

But hopefully not too soon.

Me and my friend Amanda went up to my pyschotic aunt's house to stay for the July 4th weekend....

Now she's always been a little off but this weekend just confirmed the fact she needs to be put in a loony bin.

Let's state the facts:

1. Singing "row, row your boat" in the car, at the dinner table or in polite company is MORE than a bit weird.

2. Talking to an 18 year old and even a 14 year old (my cousin Devon) like we are 3 doesn't sit well with us young teenagers.

3. Do you have to be extremely judgemental about everything? Isn't it enough that we all assume and judge IN OUR HEADS? Why say the stupidness out loud? Why??

4. Just because you are a Christian, doesn't mean you have to look down on other religions or people who choose not to have a religion.

5. You spoiled Devon soo much that he's bored to death and lonely, so when I come to see MY COUSIN, he has incestral behavior (incest: family members who date each other and/or marry and have kids. often with deformities).

6. She's one of those people who sincerely believes in whatever she believes in and doesn't understand why everyone doesn't believe in it because it makes that much sense to her.

7. "Row, row your boat" is not acceptable when buying fireworks.

She's a BIT off her rocker.

Now everything was cool on Friday, besides all of the questions she asked Amanda.

It started like this:

Amanda: Do you have anything else to eat besides pork? I don't like pork.

Aunt: Are you Hindu?

Amanda: Noo...

Aunt: Jewish?

Amanda: Noo....

Aunt: (names several MORE things including vegetarian)

Amanda: No, I just don't like pork.

Aunt: Well there has to be a reason WHY you don't like it.

Me: (in my head: The TASTE maybe?)

Why does she have to be labeled? Is she so different and out of the box that you have to create one to put her in?

And her husband seemed like a decent guy, except that he got excessively drunk and couldn't believe that two young girls from Harlem could be extremely intelligent. Really, he was in shock...

But here's the kicker:

She woke us up on Friday and Saturday. Sunday rolls around and we get up by ourselves, we wonder when we're going to go home.

Around 11 she storms through the guest room door and says

"OKAY! Time to get up, Church in 10 minutes!"

.............................................................................................................................

Amanda was looking at me like "bitch why you bring me up here?"

(she has bad experiences with church. She believes that most of them are either too commercial or not enough about the message. Plus it doesn't help that the last time she was in a church they wanted to peform an exorcism on her because apparently holy water burns her.....)

Amanda: I'm not really comfortable with church....

Aunt: What? What's the problem? Do you believe in a religion other than christian?

Amanda: I'm not in any religion, it's just that--

Aunt: But you said you're not Jewish right? Or Hindu? Or WITCH (she says this like you say DOG SHIT. And the correct term is Wicca you pyschotic crazy bitch.)

Amanda: O.O No I'm not but--

Aunt: So what, you got a problem with Jesus? Cause you can stay in the parking lot if you want.

{{Insert HUGEEEEEE silence HERE}}

Long story short, we stayed in the lobby and the church was one of those churches that got alot of funding, was very short and even had a gift shop. (rich white people live pretty good).

After the sermon, my aunt's friend came up to us and politely says:

"What the hell you doing here you heathens?"

.......................................

S.M.H. Well I haven't gotten an invite back up there. I guess our "rebellion" pissed the crazy lady off pretty bad.

But bitch was straight DUCKY, how are we supposed to react??

*sighness* Family. Can't live with them, can't kill them cause you won't get money.

Oh the irony...

Another Ex Story

"I wonder if there's even one in existence, enough to keep my attention to go the distance..."-Lloyd Banks

Help - Lloyd Banks

YAY! Return of the song quote posts!

Lol anywhoo...I was hanging with my friend, we'll call him L, and he was complimenting me (for once).

Anyone who knows me, SHOULD know that I'm a sucker for flattery.

He called me a great catch, and after all the blushing and ishh it got me thinking...

(flashback into another ex story)

If I was such a great catch, then why couldn't I catch one of my own?

This is Aaron.

He was my tenth grade boo.

Key word: Boo. Not boyfriend, not other half.

Our relationship was based on my infallible ability to ignore the fact that I was no more than a jump-off to him.

As much as I liked Aaron, he never wanted to be my boyfriend.

He was a great listener. Funny. Engaged in conversations actively.

Even when I was mad at him, he would make me smile. He was sweet.

Dude even had a little bit of style....

Problem with him was that he wanted his cake, your cake and and the cake batter as well.

We were dating. And while I had the impression he was dating other people, I never actually SAW it.

But he made the constant mistake of flirting with other girls in front of me.

And it really bothered me. But I didn't say anything (cause I'm stupid).

Eventually I asked him where we were going with "us" and he tells me he's not ready for a relationship.

So that was the end of that.

Time passes, we lose contact, he adds me on myspace...

Says how we should catch up...

We spent six hours on the phone that night.

He told me how much he wanted to really know me again, how much he wanted to get close to me and not only in an intimate way.

And I was just sitting there with my mouth half open like "Is This Aaron Really Talking?"

Talking about he was good for me, and just what I needed at the moment.

So I get very little sleep. Because all of those old feelings came STRAIGHT back...

I called him for 2 days straight and got no response. I hit him up on aim and he says he doesn't want any type of commitment and that he didn't want his words to be construed in that way...

Womp Womp.

You know what else came back? All that RESENTMENT and ANGER!

Like, why can't I get this dude? Am I not good enough? I think I'm a pretty decent partner.

There will be others but seriously, why couldn't I get one I really wanted?

In this obsession, I do the predictable.

I go onto his myspace.....

.....................................................

.................................................................................................................

...................................................

.............................................................................................

If you haven't realized by now, myspace is the devil.

Not only does it say he's in a relationship, but it says in his about me "Wassup world, this ya boy

Aaron, as you can see I love my wife 10-27-07 I love You Baby...."

{Insert Pictures of them Kissing and 2 Other Pictures of Her on his page HERE}

Doesn't this sound familiar?

{Click HERE for the previous story}

What's up with this say one thing and your myspace says another trend? That shit is NOT cool...

But it really took a hit on my self esteem. Why did he keep slipping through my fingers?

(even though he's just a 'ain't shit mu-fucka' as Jen says).

I don't get it. It baffles me.

And ever since Aaron, I haven't been able to be interested in a relationship with my romantic partners (with one exception).

No one has really caught my eye like him.

And unfortunately, he was just another bad apple.

I feel like Snow White, choking on the poison.

Anyway just had to get it off my chest.